Ode to Honey Badger

Our most recent rice grain is thriving and hit a year old on April 8th!  Tim worked a half day Wednesday, and we had a family afternoon at the Maryland Science Center.  I spent that entire day in and out of tears.  Time gets away these days.  How can my little baby honey badger be one already?  Although Gabriel was the most beautiful baby boy I've ever seen, Tim and I are actually overjoyed that he isn't a bitty baby anymore.  They're tough! And we've had the TOUGHEST babies.  They don't sleep, hate their bottles, cry, have colic, spit up, have to visit GI Dr's, etc.  But, I can 100 percent say that it was and is worth it.  The accomplishment I feel as a mother is beyond words.  The adorable personality that Gabriel has developed is worth all of the sleepless nights..seriously, he's adorable and makes me laugh so much already.  Although, I would prefer to be well-rested as I laugh at his funny personally, ;).

Honey badger has tested my limits, no doubt.  Which is why we call him honey badger.  Honey badgers are nocturnal menaces, and if anyone gets a change to watch the Netflix documentary about the Honey Badger, you'll think "Gabriel Timothy Rice..that's him!", haha. 

Every mother can remember being sleep deprived.  It's an exacerbated situation when he's screaming from tummy pains at dark:30, and you had just fallen into a deep sleep 20 minutes prior.  I don't know about other mums, but I become kind of psycho when I'm exhausted and pacing the room with a screaming baby.  I'm not saying that dent in my bedroom wall is from a bottle being thrown at 2am... but it's a possibility, ;).   When Gabriel was 3 months old we said, "omg, it'll be so much better when he's 6 months.  He'll be over the colicky stage and hopefully not feeding through the night anymore".  Then when he hit 6 months we said the same thing."When he's 8 months, he certainly won't be eating through the night anymore, should be full from all the table food he's now eating, and we'll all sleep better".  8 months rolled around, and you get the picture.  Now, at a year old our pediatrician is finally referring us to a pediatric GI specialist, because this guy is in pain.  It's really sad :(.

We survived Sophia, so we'll definitely survive this guy! 

Gabriel's favorite things: 

His sister

Pasta

Being held all day by his mom

Pasta

Goldfish crackers

Rolling a ball with Sophia

Screaming

Pasta

Not wearing shoes

Blueberries

Being outside

Gabriel's' least favorite things:

Being put down

Milk

Wearing shoes

Being strapped in carseat

Being strapped in a highchair

Mom leaving his sight

Sleeping in his own bed

A FEW of my favorite things about Gabriel:

He loves me more than I deserve... it's unconditional. 

How he immediately lays his head on my shoulder when I pick him up; even if IT IS a nano second, lol

His hilarious facial expressions and personality

The fact that he LOVES being chased and giggles when I go after him

How we can make him laugh at the drop of a hat, even if he has just been screaming

How frustrated he gets if I take something out of his hand (like a pen that he could poke his eye out with... doesn't he get it? :) ). It's quite cute to see his frustration.  I just laugh. 

His scrunchy face he makes when smiling.

And of course I could go on, but I'm at work....shhh

Both of my kids are miracles... we all know Sophia's hard start to life.  But, it was a very tough year before having Gabriel, and I couldn't be more thankful that he was given to us.  He is my rainbow baby. 

Parenthood doesn't work for everyone.  We can all think of a deadbeat that we know.  But my children have made me a better person.  I will love them unconditionally and hope that they will forgive me when I fail them as a mom. 

Gabriel, if you ever read this:  You are the perfect addition that I didn't realize I needed.  When we found out your gender, I couldn't wrap my head around having a boy..I was a girl mom! I played dress up for 4 years.   But you are so perfect, and I know that I was meant to be a boy mom as well... we click.  I get excited when I see boy toys that you may enjoy playing with.  I love the balance our family now has.  We're stuck together... mainly because you won't let me put you down, :)  You and your sister are my greatest successes in life.  I love you, honey badger. 

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY!!

Traintastic

 

THE RICE'S TOOK THE TRAIN.....

TO A TRAIN SHOW......

AND BOUGHT THEIR FIRST FAMILY TRAIN SET....

THEN WENT HOME AND PUT IT TOGETHER WHILE WATCHING "THE POLAR EXPRESS' (obviously)

Gabriel didn't make a peep the whole day we were out, and I didn't throw up on the light rail.  It was a SUCCESS! 

Our Rice grains are growing beautifully in smalltimore.   And now we're addicted to trains (thanks to Tim's awesome idea).   We had a blast! 

Perspective from a "seasoned" mom...

Lately, I've been losing my mind.  No, no, I've lost it.  You know why.... it's when they teethe, have tummy issues, and a cold with fever all at the same time.  Why would they not, right?  Sometimes Gabriel will take a 15 minute nap AND go to bed at 11pm the same day.  Winning!  Not.

My real estate work is actually saving me.  I almost said "work is saving me", but all stay at home mothers know that they are working hard for zero dollars..group hug to those who aren't getting paid! ;) Anyway, I've been working outside the home more lately, and it's keeping me sane; relatively.  I was in my office two days ago talking to a friend who is a mother of 5 kids. But not just a mother of five; an awesome mother of five.  That's TOUGH!  I mean, one kid was hard!  I mentioned the goings on of my sleep deprivation and the reasons why; complaining basically.  And in her sweetest voice she says to me, "I know it's hard.  But you know, little people, little problems.  Big people, big problems".   Hello. 

What I actually heard was this:  You think right now that your 4 year old talks too much and at an extremely high volume.  But one day, when she's 16, she may not want to talk to you at all.  Be thankful for her sweet little loud voice.  You think right now it's tough getting little to no sleep at night, tending to a crying baby in the crib next to you.  But one day you will not sleep at night because you may not know where he is..he hasn't come home yet from hanging out with his friends.  At least right now, you know he's home safe next to you.  Be thankful for this time. 

In the midst of the craze, I feel like my problems are big.  I'm stressed, sleep deprived, and haven't had a normal meal in a few days.  I'm living off of coffee and cough drops.  But, PERSPECTIVE IS KEY.  "little people, little problems".  WOW, so true to be reminded of this.  See, this mother of 5 has kids from 11-25 years old.  She's experienced all the problems at each age.  She knows!  So, for right now, I'm going to be thankful and happy that Sophia LOVES talking to me and that I know Gabriel is safe and sound at home with me, even if he's not sleeping, ;).

THANK YOU, KAREN!  You had no idea that your words came at the perfect time. 

One more year in the books

Some moms may think, "my perfect birthday would be a day surrounded by my family... hanging out with my kids".  And I thought that at first, but quickly realized, I do that nearly every day, ha.  So, I decided I would like one night to myself (in a hotel, obvi).  OF COURSE I FELT GUILTY.  Mom guilt is a B.  Which is exactly why I waited until the day before to book it and ended up bringing Sophia along, lol.  At least she sleeps through the night.  Sort of.  And a special shout out to my awesome friend Nathalie for taking my call at 7pm the day before my birthday and getting me all set up at the Hyatt.  Mrs Director, you're awesome!

It ended up being PERFECT; A night with my girl, giggling, watching movies (she had headphones and I watched an adult movie, obviously..no kids movies aloud on MY birthday), eating cake, and snuggling in a hotel!  Tim gladly (hopefully) went on baby duty around 6 last night, and Sophia and I jetted before I got too sad leaving Gabriel.  Once I curled up in the king size bed, I wasn't so sad anymore.  I WAS ABOUT TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!   Let me add that I did get the day to myself thanks to the sitter, picking out my new Microsoft Surface (thank you Tim!) and slipping in a movie and cinnamon roll in the hotel, before I picked Sophia up... let's be real. 

Thank you, Timothy Rice, for a wonderful birthday!  Now I shall pack up and head back to the real world, which is darn cute and fun!  Sophia has already said she misses Gabriel.  And I'm about to die without him, but it was a much needed night with my girl.  I'm so thankful I was able to do it with our busy schedules.  #forever21

A is for Applesauce

Yesterday Soph and I made homemade applesauce, and it was so! #y and delicious! I'll never buy the ready made stuff again.  Unless of course I pass it in the grocery store while I'm starving, in a bad mood, or in a hurry.  So, I'll probably buy it during next week's grocery outing. It's a great thought though, to think I'll do this on a weekly basis. "But it'll be organic!", I'll tell myself.  And then I'll remember how I peeled the apples with Gabriel strapped to my chest, whining for milk or because his gums hurt. So then as I got the apples on the stove, I figured I would feed him real quick (but I forgot that it's never quick). I ended up forgetting about our precious simmering apples, but luckily got to them just before the charring set in.  Threw it in a blender, and had fresh homemade.cinnamon applesauce within hours,.haha.

Seriously though, it was super easy.  I like to add in the dramatics to make myself laugh later at my experiences.  What would have made the biggest difference is obvious: planning.  I did in on a whim, on a day when Gabriel was the crankiest.  However, I DID start this endeavor right after I laid him down for nap, but as luck would have it, he slept a whole 15 minutes! Isn't that amazing? 

We accomplished it, and Sophia had fun and was so proud.  She wanted to wait for Tim to get home so that we could all taste it together...but it just looked too delicious ;)

Homemade Cinnamon Applesauce

5 medium apples (peeled and quartered, ugh)

1/2 cup water 

1 Tbsp sugar

1 tsp cinnamon

Simmer on medium/low until soft, throw in blender or mixer, and add water to get it down to preferred consistency.  It didn't make a ton, so I'll be doubling the recipe next time (unless I buy pre made, ;)). 

Two posts in 1 week! 

#winningatlife

Life is happening

Who has time to write a long blog post these days?!  Which is why I'm just getting around to posting.  This will be the trend.  I'm sure I'll post again in another month.

Before I forget:  You know the dust balls that collect on your broom when you're sweeping? Wait, I mean, you know the dust balls that collect of other people's broom when they are sweeping?   Because I would never have that much dust in my house, obviously.   Anyway, Sophia usually sweeps for me (because she's AWESOME!) and she calls the dust bunnies "FUZZ BUNNIES".  I LOVE it.  I realize this is only funny to me, because I'm her mom, I get that...but I needed to share it it so that I can be reminded in the future of all the adorable things she said.  Documented and moving on.

Since my last post Gabriel has started eating rice cereal, Sophia has started to learn how to read (i'm crying), and Tim and I made an adult trip to Puerto Rico.  Many other things have happened, but I'm too old to remember.  Grammy and Gramps flew up to keep the kiddos so that Tim and I could get away for a few days to swim in the Caribbean a bit , go to bed early, and work...haha.  It was GREAT, but who wouldn't miss their babies?!

Nobody wanted to take a picture with their mom? 

I finally feel like I'm on my "mom game".   We have a decent routine down. And by routine I mean, my kids eat, play and nap, but the times pretty much vary daily.  Life is a ROLLERCOASTER...ups and downs experienced all in the same hour, sometimes.  One minute we're all 3 happy and playing and the next minute we're all three crying.  Usually because Gabriel's teeth start randomly causing excruciating pain, stressing me out due to no relief, causing me to snap at Sophia...cue the tears from all 3!  During these fleeting moments (which see like will never end), I feel like a failing mom. But after they both nap, eat a snack, and we're on our way to the park, I feel like an awesome mom doing a great job of taking care of her kids, and I'm back on top emotionally.  Whew.  

One thing that gets me through my days is realizing that I'm never going to be like the other mom or moms I occasionally come across.  I've never been one to feel like I need to "keep of with the Joneses", but I have had the moments when I think, "man she's an awesome mom, and I'll never compare to that'.  And usually they're moms on pinterest who pin things but probably never actually do the activities with their kids...or so I tell myself, haha.  I have also stopped comparing Sophia, and now Gabriel, to other children their age.  This has completely altered my expectations, which I feel helps her to grow naturally, at her own pace.  Researching homeschooling, education, and learning styles has changed my perspective a myriad of things!  

Most of us are trying to do our very best at this parenting gig.  My decisions for my family are based upon my convictions, lifestyle, and certain desires and goals.  And those things are different for all families, and that's ok! So, I've stopped judging (unless you're a deadbeat, lol).  It's very freeing to not compare myself and my kids to our peers anymore.  

Another thing that usually gets me through the day is the 5 Hail Mary's I have to say to myself when we're all 3 crying.  

And the last, most important thing that gets me through my day is this song/video:  Coldplays' "Fix You".   Their live concert in Paris is the best version.  Youtube it right now.  If you don't jump around your living room and cry when Chris Martin starts running down the runway as the tempo picks up, you aren't human. :)

    

Our Rice grains are surviving and thriving in the city...Who knew?! 

P.S. Tim is starting his 4th and final year of law school on Monday.  Peace be with us! :)

What they don't tell you....

It's about time I update this thing.  Since my last post Sophia turned 4 (i'm still crying over that), she had her first ballet recital (i'm still BAWLING over that), Tim started his summer courses 4 nights a week (lame), enjoyed a visit from some of Tim's family, we took a quick trip to Ohio, Gabriel starting teething, I've gotten 15 hours of sleep total (ok, i'm exaggerating) and I've tackled like ONE load of laundry (i don't think i'm exaggerating).  It's been a crazy whirlwind of events!  I love my life.

What they don't tell you before you have your second baby is that one minute you'll be brushing your teeth, and the next minute you'll be holding a crying baby, while making breakfast and opening a box a raisins for your other child all at the same time. And  I ate my lunch yesterday (which was chips and salsa) while holding Gabriel facing outward on my forearm because it's the only position that will calm him down during a crying fit; but at least Sophia was napping at the time. 

What they don't tell you is that the kids never nap at the same time. 

What they don't tell you is that at some time or another you'll feel like a failure for not having it all together.  For not having cooked a meal in a week, or for the loads of laundry piled on the floor (at least it's clean), or for going to bed right when your husband gets home and not having any time for him. 

But what else they don't tell you is that most moms feel that way at some point or another (because i've talked to many moms who have admitted to those feelings) but just don't talk about it.  It's easy to show off a "picture perfect" life on instagram or facebook, but I could definitely post many pics of all of us crying, lol.  Motherhood is HARD work.  And although I have mentioned the hard times, they'll never outweigh the happy smiles that connect you to your infant when he wakes up first thing in the morning.  Or the 10 minute craft you fit into your day with your preschooler.  I choose to focus on the things that went RIGHT during the day.  I also choose to say a "Hail Mary" when Gabriel is screaming his head off, haha.  Whatever keeps you from losing it, right?  lol   And right when you're at your breaking point and you don't think you'll last another 10 minutes without bawling, something will surely give, and your baby will miraculously take a 3 hour nap AT THE SAME TIME AS YOUR OTHER KID!  They must have gotten together and planned to give mom a break. 

I have made a conscious effort recently not to get discouraged or too stressed out, because the tough times are so short in the grand scheme of life.  There was a time when Tim and I thought Sophia would never be older than 6 months old (her infant stage was TOUGH).  But she's 4 now and it FLEW by!  I have realized that I don't need to have it all together, whatever that even means.  I focus on keeping my kids happy and taking short moments during the day to drink a cup of coffee (even if it's cold because i made it 2 hours ago with no time to drink it then, ha), or read a few pages in a book.  It really helps to take short "me times". And today I actually got to sit on my butt for an hour and a half and watch one of my "guilty pleasure, don't have to think about anything, probably makes me dumber" shows.  I won't say what it is because I'd surely lose some friends, haha.

This is what I want to tell myself: My point to this post is to encourage myself to chill out with trying to be pinterest perfect.  You know the term.  My point is that some days are just plain bad, but it's so worth it.  And most days are wonderful and happy.  Focus on the positive things, Haleigh.  Remember that Gabriel won't be teething forever, and they'll both be 16 one day and not want to hang out with you (yeah, right.  Sophia and I will be roomies when she goes off to college.  I'll swear to do her laundry and cook for her, and she won't be able to resist).  Enjoy them!  Be happy through the difficult times.  They can sense your stress.  It's ok if your laundry isn't done or if you haven't mopped in 2 weeks or 2 months (ok 2 months is waaaay too long, people).   Are your kids happy and healthy?  Are you and your husband happy?  If so, then you're winning!  You can do it, Haleigh.  And all the other moms out there that are stressed.  We're all in it together.      
I'M NO JUNE CLEAVER

BUT, I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER

(I wrote this super fast and don't have time to edit or make spelling corrections. Who knows if it even flows, ha. What do you want from me?  I have a 10 week old! :) )

WE LOVE OUR RICE GRAINS!