What they don't tell you before you have your second baby is that one minute you'll be brushing your teeth, and the next minute you'll be holding a crying baby, while making breakfast and opening a box a raisins for your other child all at the same time. And I ate my lunch yesterday (which was chips and salsa) while holding Gabriel facing outward on my forearm because it's the only position that will calm him down during a crying fit; but at least Sophia was napping at the time.
What they don't tell you is that the kids never nap at the same time.
What they don't tell you is that at some time or another you'll feel like a failure for not having it all together. For not having cooked a meal in a week, or for the loads of laundry piled on the floor (at least it's clean), or for going to bed right when your husband gets home and not having any time for him.
But what else they don't tell you is that most moms feel that way at some point or another (because i've talked to many moms who have admitted to those feelings) but just don't talk about it. It's easy to show off a "picture perfect" life on instagram or facebook, but I could definitely post many pics of all of us crying, lol. Motherhood is HARD work. And although I have mentioned the hard times, they'll never outweigh the happy smiles that connect you to your infant when he wakes up first thing in the morning. Or the 10 minute craft you fit into your day with your preschooler. I choose to focus on the things that went RIGHT during the day. I also choose to say a "Hail Mary" when Gabriel is screaming his head off, haha. Whatever keeps you from losing it, right? lol And right when you're at your breaking point and you don't think you'll last another 10 minutes without bawling, something will surely give, and your baby will miraculously take a 3 hour nap AT THE SAME TIME AS YOUR OTHER KID! They must have gotten together and planned to give mom a break.
I have made a conscious effort recently not to get discouraged or too stressed out, because the tough times are so short in the grand scheme of life. There was a time when Tim and I thought Sophia would never be older than 6 months old (her infant stage was TOUGH). But she's 4 now and it FLEW by! I have realized that I don't need to have it all together, whatever that even means. I focus on keeping my kids happy and taking short moments during the day to drink a cup of coffee (even if it's cold because i made it 2 hours ago with no time to drink it then, ha), or read a few pages in a book. It really helps to take short "me times". And today I actually got to sit on my butt for an hour and a half and watch one of my "guilty pleasure, don't have to think about anything, probably makes me dumber" shows. I won't say what it is because I'd surely lose some friends, haha.
This is what I want to tell myself: My point to this post is to encourage myself to chill out with trying to be pinterest perfect. You know the term. My point is that some days are just plain bad, but it's so worth it. And most days are wonderful and happy. Focus on the positive things, Haleigh. Remember that Gabriel won't be teething forever, and they'll both be 16 one day and not want to hang out with you (yeah, right. Sophia and I will be roomies when she goes off to college. I'll swear to do her laundry and cook for her, and she won't be able to resist). Enjoy them! Be happy through the difficult times. They can sense your stress. It's ok if your laundry isn't done or if you haven't mopped in 2 weeks or 2 months (ok 2 months is waaaay too long, people). Are your kids happy and healthy? Are you and your husband happy? If so, then you're winning! You can do it, Haleigh. And all the other moms out there that are stressed. We're all in it together.
I'M NO JUNE CLEAVER
BUT, I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER
(I wrote this super fast and don't have time to edit or make spelling corrections. Who knows if it even flows, ha. What do you want from me? I have a 10 week old! :) )
WE LOVE OUR RICE GRAINS!
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